My Emotional Run

I'm a bit of an emotional mess today, I'm letting the past get to me and I'm just not moving on! I'm on replay mode, I go back to the past and re-live the issues and the hurt! And I'm so angry at myself for not moving on!

It got me thinking, and wondering, I'm so strong in so many aspects of my life but why not with my emotions! Running being one of those aspects! And actually isn't life like a long run, you have ups and downs, periods of comfort ability, periods of struggles and times when you can take no more and you want to just give up!

So here's my run, my struggles and my emotions!

The first few miles of one my runs is always the hardest for me because my breathing has to adjust, you need to warm into the run! This is like my problem now, that initial decision to get over the past is hard, but I have to make that initial decision and I have to get through those two miles and get through the tough phase.

Now that could be 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months, but I need to snap out of this and start this journey!

The next part of my run which is mile 3-9 is the easy part, breathing is good, energy levels great, legs are pounding pavement and I feel great and comfortable.

And I have to get to this stage, if I can do it while out running then why can't I take that to issues I face in life, and learn to let go and move on with my life! But this stage has that false sense of you being okay, you don't realise that the tiredness will kick in. Just like how I thinkI'm okay and I've moved on and what I do is go back and just let myself down!

The last stage is the hardest! You have no energy, every thing hurts and all your legs want to do are give up! But then this is also the stage where mind over matter takes over, when you ignore the pains and focus on the end and that finish line! This is the stage I worry about, before I even get here I've given up! Basically my legs have given up and I've stopped and just gone back to what I'm comfortable with! But in a race you can't give up and have to keep going! And that's what I have to focus on!

I've made that decision to let go and start that emotional run, and let me tell you at stage one its hard! Let's see if I can use the focus and determination I possess with my fitness and overcome one of the worst experiences of my life!